Menage Tues

There are often times when my overzealous celbritity fetish has gotten the best of me. Most recently, during FNO (my new favorite day of the year; thanks, Vogue) I decided that I was going to spend 200 dollars on a pair of mediocre jeans (that I did NOT try on btw) so that I could be one of the lucky 150 ladies to meet/grope/MO with Justin Timberlake (I wasn't kidding about the overzealous thing... I truly believed all of those things were going to happen). As luck would have it, I was granted 2 VIP passes to my very own dreamy scenario as well as a big fat FINAL SALE stamp on my receipt. Oh well--who gives a shit!? I'm going to forinacate with JT right? Sure, or be 10 feet away from him for a whole minute and 36 seconds (I counted). Where was this going? Oh right...

So when I got a tip from a colleage that the entire cast of Melrose Place was bringing cupcakes to my old office, I knew I wouldn't let myself miss out on that. After getting the last minute OK from my boss to take a break, I bolted down to the elevator and out the door quicker than you could say Ashlee Simpson. As a side note, I should probably mention... This gal runs NO where. All exercise-induced asthma aside, it's not so cute. Since birth I've been fortunate enough for two feet that make 180 degree angles when standing. I'll let you ponder that for a minute...

Immediately after body slamming the front doors of my office building, I got a text: "hurry! They're here!" No doubt I olympic sprinted down 12 NYC blocks in blistering 100 degree heat. Finally I made it to the conference room, hair falling out, makeup oozing off--i looked goooood. Breathlessly throwing myself through the door, practicing how I would tell Ashlee I backhanded a group of 6th graders to make it to the front of the stage during her 2004 mall tour, I found myself in a room with 3 friends, 1 rep, an old supervisor, and 10-12 of the sexiest men I've ever seen in my mere 23 years. No Ashlee but totes worth the sweat.

Whatever... I was there right? Might as well make the best of it and open myself of to some mindless innocent flirtation (they may be nameless but they were foinee). I took mental pictures so that I could brag about which non-principal cast member told me "he was enjoying my company." Showtime.

So it premiered... On "menage Tues" of last week (god, I love that). Of course I DVRed, as i would not miss an opportunity to incite jealousy on my friends (eek that sounded bad... sorry guys). I curled up on my couch with a cup of tea and a vibrator--kidding... Sort of. Yet alas. To my dismay, after an hour of bad acting, cheesy blurred flashbacks, and one really adorable scene involving that cutie from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies, I saw not one of my men from earlier that afternoon.

So, needless to say... I'm a little jaded in regards to this second hand, sexed up version of a 90s classic. Especially because the cast was like 38 years old in the original (please see below) and like 19 in remake? Not so synergistic, but I'll keep watching... ya know... just in case.