From Gleek to "Eeek"

It’s no secret that McKinley high is in serious need of a renovation. BLECHK… excuse me while I hack the asbestos out of my lungs for lingering around the halls of this show for far too long.

Yes, it’s a sad realization when you find yourself watching your ex-favorite show like you once watched the 1960 version of The Tempest the night before your Shakespeare exam; fast forwarding through any dialogue to get to general understanding of the nonsense storyline. From what I can gather from the season 3 premiere, it went a little like this:

· Blah blah blah… Quinn has fake hair and can’t “pretend” smoke a cigarette to save her life

· Blah blah blah… Food fight

· FAB IT’S NOT UNSUAL MUSICAL NUMBER WITH THE MCKINLEY HIGH DEBUT OF MRS. KURT HUMMEL! (Climatic moment of the hour)

· Blah blah blah… Rachel is annoying

· Blah blah blah… Kurt is annoying

· Blah blah blah… Mr. Shu is annoying

· Blah blah blah… Mr. Shu is annoying and also has a serious case of blue balls

· FAB ANYTHING GOES MUSICAL NUMBER WITH NO ONE FROM THE PRINCIPAL CAST (YAY!)

· Blah blah blah… Santana rules

· …and of course finale cheeseball performance showcasing how resilient the New Directions group is. Shocker.

Womp. Womp. Womp.

Who knows—maybe the fact that my new roommate is allergic to Glee has made me a bit more sensitive to the mind-numbing nonsense that this show has become. Finn no longer gives me lady tickles; in fact, the mere thought of him dries my vajayjay up like a craisin. I no longer have a tolerance for Lea Michelle’s bowl-movement faces during her songs. My inner-gay-man is no longer giddy at the thought of a Barbara song. All-in-all, the show is going to have to step up its game to keep me from watching HIMYM reruns on WGN in its place.

Luckily for Gleeks everywhere, Tuesday’s 2^nd episode was a bit redeeming. Nothing like throwing a Tony Award winning actress in the mix to stir up some fab musical numbers and semi-interesting storyline. Some promising moments:

· Brittany is a genius… no really…

· Puck is a doting dad wannabe that draws his baby girl pig clowns

· Quinn is blonde again (that was fast)

· Rachel is still annoying (but at least her rendition of Somewhere was actually something)

Let’s get real, I’ll never actually stop watching. I mean, what the hell would I have on my iPod if I did? But hear thee now, Ryan Murphy: Until I am satisfied with the state of this show I pledge to post a new adulterated photo of your bald head wearing a dumb hat every week. Exhibit A:

Never underestimate the powers of Microsoft PowerPoint.