Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tanti Auguri a me

I haven't heard better news since Angelina moved out of the house. I haven't been more excited since JWow lit my cigarette and told her manager to "get that bitch away from me." I haven't been to Italy in 4 years and it's finally time to go back.

You heard it hear, folks! THR just reported that the dirty jerz it heading to Italia!!! With that said, I have a few words of wisdom for the gang based on the time I spent in Roma:

1. When you get drunk, it's natural to want to jump in a fountain. Do it... but be sure you can run.
2. Vespa rides from strangers are totally acceptable... so long as you remember where you're going (Sorry, Snooks. Maybe you should stay back).
3. Dance offs are encouraged and highly celebrated. I once danced off a pantless stripper in Art Cafe. Snooki... you better practice your backflips.
4. Drink orange juice whenever you can get your hands on it. Drink wine more than that (preferable in the form of juiceboxes)
5. Please don't ask the Pope to "beat the beat"

Ciao, Ragazzi!!!! <--- Click through

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