Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A Free Spirit, A Dog Lover, and a Former NBA Dancer Walk into a House...

2014... A new year filled with so many promises: Legalized recreational marijuana, universal health care, and proof that the search for love prevails over societal pressure to have a job.  What a fine country we live in!  Of course that's no secret to US born, Venezuelan raised, Juan Pablo Galavis, ABC's 18th (What!?) bachelor.  During last night's premiere he really was gifted with the American dream: 25 beautiful women of his choosing... Arguably zero with legitimate careers.

Me? I am a self-diagnosed Bachewhore;  I've lived, laughed, loved and cried (/suffered) through most every season.  So it of course surprised me during last night's introductions to find the Bachelor house without the standard handful of "advertising executives," "medical professionals," and "consultants" we've grown to know and love.  Yeah... I'm not dumb... surrendering months of your life to a TV show does not a legitimate job allow - yet, where is the effort to keep up appearances?  These 26-year-olds look like 45-year-olds with the porn quality makeup they've been regularly applying since the age of 10 - why not maintain the appearance of ambition to the level they maintain physique?

So then it dawned on me: perhaps professional drive is no longer a key attractive quality in a woman.  Well... shit.  What the hell have I been doing all these years?  Sure, I would have loved to identify myself as a "Free Spirit" or a "Dog Lover" and feel legitimized rather than slaving life away at a media agency for a measly paycheck.  Well that's what resolutions are for, aren't they?  I, Sofalista, now resolve to be a "aspirational BeyoncĂ© dancer," "food eater," and most legitimate of all... "Blogger." ;)  Take that, feminists of the world!  I choose love and am sexier because of it!  To hell with you and the roads you paved for our equality!

Ohhh this season is going to be goood!  Hold on to your hats (and your jobs for all you uglies that have one)... Gonna be a wild ride!

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