The Creepiest of Inhabitants

Not-so-bold-statement: A lot of creepy shit happens on LOST. In fact, whenever I watch an episode by myself I immediately need to follow it up with a Friends DVD. Polar bears in the jungle? Dead people showing up unannounced? A dude that never ages and always appears to be wearing eyeliner? ...Yeah, it's freaky stuff. But the creepiest aspect of the show is its nature to provoke thought; let me tell you, my mind is a twisted and scary place to spend a lot of time in.

Second to that, in my opinion, the creepiest of all creeps ever to step foot on the island are all under the age 12. Yep, kids. Kids are pretty freaking scary. No wonder why single ladies fear pregnancy--you need a man committed to you by vows under God to serve as a buffer. Think about it: The Orphan... The Ring... The Omen... anything that a young Dakota Fanning starred in? All proof that the littlest of people stir the biggest of chills.

This fact particularly holds true when it comes to LOST. In all five-and-some seasons, the one character that still gives me the heebie jeebies on command is Walt. Having trouble recalling the extent of his creepiness? Let me remind you that birds committed suicide in his presence, marriages broke up because of his mysteriousness, and it was Walt who summoned the polar bears to the island. Not only that, but he appeared to a dying Locke and has since been going through a particularly awkward phase of puberty.

My next example is sort of a covert creep; an under-the-radar-conductor-o-terror, if you will. I'm referring to Aaron, baby creep extraordinaire. Let's not forget what Claire's psychic predicted: if left in the wrong hands Aaron could bring the world to an end. Plus all of that poking and prodding and plane crashing that happened to him while in the womb must not have done him well either. Hmm... yep, that qualifies him as first-class creepster in my book.

Boys and girls, what we've learned thus far is that creepiest knows an age... and that age is youth. Even the two little kids from the back of the plane that were kidnapped by the others in Season 2 scare the poop out of me. And they didn't even talk! Slightly past a ripe, young age but another example nonetheless is Alex, Rosseau's birth spawn and Ben's adopted daughter. She pops up out of no where and is a little too anxiety-ridden for my liking, but more than that, Alex is a prime case of creepy face. Call me superficial, but if I gave birth to that, I'd put her back in.

This all brings me to my final point. Who the hell was the creepy bloody child from Tuesday night's episode? Why can't Richard see him? Why can Sawyer? Is he a young Jacob? Or a 'referee' in this twisted little game Jacob and the Man in Black are playing? Why can he tell smokey/Locke what to do? Most importantly... why does this show continue to keep me up at night fearful that scary little children are going to show up in my room in the middle of the night?