Intelligence LOST

While most of you probably think I am a genius, you may be surprised to learn that my intelligence is just slightly above average. So while there is a strong possibility that I am significantly smarter than you (statistically, of course), there's a bunch of people out there a lot smarter than me. Hey, just stating facts here, people.

It's pretty evident, however, that I am not of Einstein intellectual standing when I watch LOST. 9 out of every 10 episodes I watch reminds me of something that I should remember but can't. For example, a friend of mine informed me that in the show's pilot episode, Jack leaves the voice mail played on Wednesday before Oceanic 815 ever leaves Australia. Yeah, don't lie... you didn't remember that either.

So what are we to make of this? Either that Jack is a shady, son-hiding bastard who has pretended to be childless this whole time (let's not forget that Jack told Hurley on Wednesday that he had no kids and would make a terrible father), or his fate has been completely clusterfucked now that the island no longer exists in this parallel universe. If the latter is holding true, things aren't looking too shabby for Jack... or Hurley for that matter.

But things are looking pretty dreary for some of their passenger-mates. Gin? He's about as good as anally raped at this point in parallel-world time. You know homebody is headed straight for jail. It's cool, though... Charlie's there too; I guess he's probably regretting that whole smuggling heroin on an airplane thing right about now.

Now on to those I can't quite figure out. Kate? Well she's back on the run, but the real question is: does she like it? See, Kate's probably as domestic as a dingo--there's a very strong possibility that she loves her life on the edge. I don't know how well this new life is working out for Claire, either. Poor girl gets held hostage, then stranded, then her baby gets rejected, and then BOOM! Ethan is her doctor? Sure, you'd think "ick," but these unfortunate circumstances have left Claire weirdly smiley... a striking contrast from her nutso island counterpart.

And then we have Locke. Sure, in a wheelchair. Sure, fired from his job. But he's planning a wedding with his live-in lova. I'm thinking that means regular BJ's for the dude so he can't be terribly unhappy. Who knows... it's a hard Locke life.