It appears that everyone at Seattle Grace has come down with a case of the Tigers. For all of you un-medical, lay people types like myself, please review the following medical advisory:
Tigers (Ty-gers') Syndrome: (from the Greek: ἀράχνη, Panthera tigris, "douchous maximus") mental disorder which fixates all of one's thoughts on the vagina. Symptoms include talking incessantly about the vagina, spreading ridiculous un-truths about the vagina, developing elaborate metaphors around the vagina, or just the innate desire to whore oneself out. A permanent cure has yet to be determined, but temporary remedies include a strong dose of peen or walking in on an old lady in the buff. If you believe that you may be suffering from Tigers Syndrome, please consult your health care provider. Or better yet, rush to your nearest blockbuster and rent a copy of that Colin Farrell movie with the full frontal nudity.
Now that you've been briefed on the dangers of Tigers Syndrome, please spread the word. Awareness is the first step to finding a cure. While some of you might be thinking, "where does a silly little blogger get the medical authority to pioneer and diagnose such a serious a medical condition?" it's important that you know I've watched an exorbitant amount of medical dramas in my lifetime. So much, in fact, that I have earned a BS in Television Medicine (and no, that doesn't stand for Bachelor of Science).
Moving on... Yes, it is my esteemed medical opinion that a Tigers outbreak has been sweeping the halls of Seattle Grace hospital. All of this "Your heart lives in your vagina" nonsense is proof of that fact. Correction, your heart does not live in your vagina; it is located sub-sternal, center thoracic, superior to the stomach with the apex on the left. Suck on that, 10th grade biology.
One would assume that world-class surgeons would know full well that the heart does not live in the vagina. Alas, one of the side effects of the syndrome is making outrageously fantastical claims about the vagina. And "prepping the surgical area?" Clearly the vajayjay is all these people can think about these days. Meredith, Christina, Lexie, Alex, Bailey, and McSteamy seem to be the disorder's primary carriers. To be clear, Callie and Arizona may not be affected. There is a difference between those fixated on the hoo-hah due to Tigers syndrome and those fixated on the hoo-hah because they are lesbians by nature.
This message has been brought to you by the American Doctors Association, Elin Woods, and the naughty minds at ABC.
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