"Omigod... I saw Liza and nearly died"
-Brandon
Here I am... Sitting on the train, dreamily trying to live vicariously through my friend who had star quality seats at last night's Divas Live. From him I have a few items to report:
1. When you say "I love you" to Adele, she says it back. I could write something mean here, but seeing as it's happy friday, I'll simply smile and say "how sweet."
2. My girl Miley was unfortunately the only performer last night to pull an Ashlee Simpson. Another note, they seem to have lowered the diva-ing age a little to much this year. In my book, no one can be a Diva until they have boobs to flaunt and a man to torture. I still love Miles, though. She can do no wrong in my eyes.
And last but not least...
3. Paula was wasted. Shocker.
I think it was at the second note of "Opposites Attract" when I knew for sure that we were in for a rough night. Calling Kathy Griffin a firecrotch was pretty much a tell tale sign as well. Can't say I didn't love every second of THAT. Damn you Kathy Griffin.
The moral of the story here is that somewhere in hollywoodtown, Kara "heresths the thing" Diaguardi is cackaling to herself while rolling around in her American Idol paycheck which she no doubt cashed in for one dolla bills lil wheezy style. Hell that's what I would do if I secured that gig.
I bet right now Kara is practing the three phrases she's going to repeat like a broken record while simultaneously giving Simon a hand job.
Little does she know that there's no way she'll take Paula's seat next to Mr. Cowell. Simon would rather burn his bzillion dollar paychecks in Kathy Griffin's firecrotch than deal with that situation. Thank GOD for Ellen!
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