It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year... Sort of

There are few things that get me excited enough to delay my desperate search for a NYC apartment and champion the life-sucking task of commuting daily on the LIRR: Macaroni Sundays, killer sales at Bloomingdales, and most importantly, fall TV premiere week. I'm a firm believer that network heads gathered together in an effort to save the world when they decided to air all new shows in the fall. I would imagine that the conversation went something like this:

"Hey... how do can we make the world a better place?"
"Hmm... I don't know... people really like summertime--maybe we can find a way to keep them from ex-ing themselves once it's over."
"Great thinking--we'll air all our new TV in the fall!"

I mean... it's a stretch... but hey! You never know. Coupled with fashion week, premiere week really makes a bold effort to redeem fall of it's brown color scheme and push for turtlenecks... woof.

Speaking of fashion, let's discuss one of my most anxiously awaited premieres: Project "Let's See if Tim Gunn Can Pull of Flip Flops." God, who am I kidding, Tim Gunn can pull of anything.

But it's true; with the much buzzed about move from Bravo to Lifetime, Project Runway made the switch from East Coast to West Coast. And yes, Tim Gunn has traded in his Pradas for what I can only refer to as "man sandals" (or at least for one epidode). What do I think about the change of scenery? Well, let's just say that everything gets soft once it leaves New York, including this year's talent... and here we go:

Althea: Mah girl. Super hot, totally adoreable, with a great feminine sensibility. So far this season I would wear anything she's put on the runway. It saddens me that she hasn't yet gotten the recognition that she deserves, but if she keeps it up I'm positive it will come.

Ari: So... what can I say about Ari without sounding close-minded? Hmm she's the spitting image of Samantha Ronson? In fact, my favorite part about this season thus far must be the painful contemplative stares Lindsay Low-han (I meant to do that) gave Ari on the runway. Bitch was totally taking out her scorned lovers angst against poor Ari. But then again, Ari DID put silver puffy romper with a hood on the runway during the evening gown challenge. OUT.

Carol Hannah: HEART! This girl is like a younger cuter Sweet Pea with actual talent. Great style, fresh taste, and a "cool girl voice"...what more can you ask for? The blondes are giving the brunettes a run for their money this season... though I don't know how much I like that.

Christopher: Kind of a question mark for me. Yeah, he won the first challenge. Yeah, his dress was adorable. Yeah, he's good. But I can't seem to get behind someone that dresses like Kevin Federline circa 2004.

Epperson: Totally a sleeper. Never ever underestimate a guy in dreds... especially when he can shut up Qristyl... ughh we'll get to her.

Irina: I'll confess... there's not an episode that goes by where I don't mix up Irina and Shirin. Oops?

Johnny: Creepy girl confession of the day: I have an irrational desire to stuff him and cuddle him like a teddy bear. Love him! Sure... he cried on day 1... so what! He's loveable, hugable, and used to do drugs. Gotta love a fashionister with an edge.

Jordanna: This season's token older woman. Apparently she used to employ Carol Hannah... aw that's nice. For me a cross between Uli and Laura--can't complain... Love them both!

Logan: I sort of have a thing for guys with long hair, so I'm a little biased for this one. Can't complain about anything he's put on the runway thus far---especially that avant garde beach inspired dress.

Louise Black: I included her last name because I find it incredibly cliche that she is Louise Black and because so must have fake black hair (which really freaks me out btw). Even though I have a fundamental problem with this, I really can't get down on her quite yet. She's pretty fantastic.

Malvin: Ohhhh Malvin. I was a fan. I like how you were a low talker. I liked your weird hair and insane metaphors. Too bad you were SCREWED by my arch nemesis MITCHELL! So sorry to say it : OUT (that hurt). Ugh, Mitchell... speaking of the devil...

MITCHELLLLLLL: The worst casting decision that Proj EVER made. Ok... so he's a nice guy?? Like since when does the runway care about "nice guys?" The answer: NEVER. He's talentless. He can't sew. He stayed on the show while poor MalvyMalv was booted. Most horrifically, he single-handedly made a mockery of one of my favorite television indulgences. BOO YOU MITCHELL. But wait... OUT! Muuuhaha.

Nicolas: New Yorker who plays with black and white and likes his women dressed a little scandalously... Ah what's not to love!?

Ra'Mon: You know that any man with a flava-sava is here to party. I'm so loving Ra'Mon... mostly because of our shared detest of Mitchell... also for his spot on choices on the runway.

Sharin: Again, Sharin? Irina? I'm not completely obtuse... I know she won the creepy pregnant lady challenge. Probably because she's a baby herself... 24 is she? Hot damnnnn

And now... perhaps the worst on the list... yes... perhaps even worse than Mitchell... oh god why why WHYYYYY...

Qristyl: Ohhhh Crystal... no, I won't recognize the ridiculous spelling of your name. But don't worry... if I wanted a prom dress from Rave in the Roosevelt Field Mall, you'd be the first I call. No, honestly people, how the hell did this clown slip through into the cast? Negative taste, negative like-ability--Heidi WHAT were you thinking?

That's it--count 'em up. My prediction is that it's going to come down to Ra'mon, Althea, Johnny and Louise. The real winner, however? Lifetime. Two thumbs up for their interactive site and streaming video online.

Aufedersein!