Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Don't be a Fool... Wrap your Tool




Let's say you're a dude. Now let's say you're a dude, who's kind of a loser, who's dating a movie star that wants to get it on...with you. You're kind of on top of the world, are you not? Yes, that's what sanity would lead you to believe. This is not the case, however, with Dan Humphry, an apparent self-righteous prude currently hiding out in Brooklyn. When GG snapped a pic of his starlet grabbing some goodies for a possible late night trip to pump town, Dan's initial reaction wasn't making a mix tape, or setting mood lighting, or even unloading the gun; no, it was to play sick.

Now, in his defense, he and Olivia did bump no-nos by the end of the episode, but granted it was in a college dorm. Not that there's anything necessarily wrong with dorm room sex--I just can't help but to recall the niceties involved when Serena took his V-Card. You all remember what I'm talking about... the fake snow, the projected lighting, the white pillows. For all we know, Olivia probably doesn't mind at all. If she's looking to be a "real girl" there's nothing more real than gettin down in an uncomforable twin-xl dorm bed with a sock on the door. Welcome to college, Olivia... we're happy to see that you like it on top.

In other news, Serena may also find herself in a movie star's sheets in the next coming episodes, and let me be the first to say, vom. It's not a mystery why Olivia's ex-boyfriend from all of those "vampire" movies is named Patrick Robinson. Hell to the no, GG, if you think "Simon Miller" can step any where near Robert Pattinson's shoes. I wish I had fangs... I'd bite you for even thinking such hypocrisy!

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