Thursday, May 6, 2010

Am I Living on the Island?


A lot of weird shit happens to me. It's probably because of my paralyzing fear of birds. They know all my secrets and use their powers of flight to create oddly ironic instances in my daily life. I'd like to think of a better reason as to why I witness 89% of all the crazy in the world... but I just can't. Any help would be well appreciated.

Here's an example: This weekend it was about 98045209580 degrees in Manhattan (not an exaggeration) and my 90283042980293802 year-old building (okay, a little bit of an exaggeration) heats up like an easy-bake-oven. So when I had this brilliant idea to move into the city on a pauper's salary, I never factored in that an air conditioning unit would bring my monthly spending from "barely" affordable to "stop-eating-you-penniless-ingrate" affordable. So as I sat in a pool of sweat in front of the industrial fan, I turned on the TV for some Seinfeld. You're probably asking yourself where the irony is here? The episode was about Jerry's parents refusing to use the air conditioner. I really didn't think much of it...

...That is until How I Met Your Mother came on. In the episode, Robyn's new manfriend asks her to move in with him. What a coincidence! My manfriend did too. Now, Robyn made the big-girl decision to ditch her friends and move in with the universe's biggest vagina. I'm sorry did I say big-girl? I mean big stumbling idiot. Granted my only friends aren't all ex-boyfriends of mine so the plot line differs quite a bit... but STILL! Is the universe trying to tell me something? Should I find NPH and make him my GBFF or something? I really didn't think much of it...

...That is until I found a bomb on my submarine! I mean WHAT ARE THE CHANCES!

Okay. In truth, the only reason why I posted this blog was because I've been listening to Alanis all day and needed an excuse to include this throw-back-vid somehow. Enjoy!

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