Baby Mama Drama

The reason why I love Gossip Girl is because it proves no matter how privileged you are, no matter if you live on the Upper East Side or Harlem, and no matter what your age, race, or sex may be, we're all just livin' in a Kanye song.

And no one proved that better last week than "Elizabeth" ... IF that's even her real name. Poor Chuck... I mean, "his baby mama's car crib is bigger than his." Well, sure. That would happen to anyone who was blind-sighted by their own flesh-and-blood to hand over the rights to their 5 star hotel. You know... everyday kind of problems. Lovesick or not, Elizabeth is no more than a gold-digging whore.

Good thing the help is around to keep shit under control. Dorota, GG's newest baby mama, has been stepping up her game recently. She even helped Blaire pull off the impossible: find friends to fill a room. Granted, the duo filled the room with a couple dozen call girls, but hey! Just proves my point--Ahh, the business of high-class prostitution.

Speaking of baby mamas, kudos to the writing staff for giving Blaire this line: "Where Bristol Palin shops?!" Well that'll certainly put shopping in perspective. If Bristol is buying Eleanor Waldorf at a glorified Macy's, that means I'll probably never get my hands on it until it hits Loehmann's two seasons later. Call me crazy, but I would venture to guess that Sarah Palin's daughter isn't exactly living paycheck to paycheck. Silly, Blaire.

And then, we've got Jenny... "Drug Dealin' Just to Get By." Didn't your father ever tell you not to be friends with models? Tisk tisk tisk.

Now, on to matters of the heart... or in my opinion... the vomit-inducing. You guessed it, Vanessa and Dan. These two need to get their love locked down. Better yet, I'd like to see them both locked down... in a cell... far away from NYC... where we don't have to see the awkward smooching ever again. And here's another thing; unless you're 100% homosexual, there's no way you want you GF dressing up like old Hollywood. See, that requires putting more clothes on than taking them off-- and that's nothing more than wasting material.