One hundred and twenty five days, twenty eight minutes, and :14 seconds. That's how long I've waited to re-release my inner gleek into the wild abyss of my living room. And how did I celebrate? With a solo, pantless dance party, a hummus bowl on my lap, and song in my heart. It's a fact... you can't really enjoy yourself with pants on. Um, so moving on...
While every second of Tuesday's Glee return made me as giddy as a toy store owner with Peter Pan syndrome, my biggest smiles were the result of the true, shining star of this spectacular program... Brittany. Yes, Brittany--The magical creature who believes that the square root of 4 is rainbows, forgets her middle name, and believes that dolphins are just gay sharks. Oh bless her little blonde heart.
I'm pretty convinced that my deep love for Brittany stems from my own fond memories of high school cheerleading. Yes, yes... I too once dawned the iconic uniform that conveyed the most timeless and impactful message to so many girls... "Stop Eating." Ah--the glory days. Listening to Brittany instantly transports me back to that time so many years ago; a time where I would surround myself with girls who thought that they couldn't pee with a tampon in or that the ocean was salty because of whale semen (uhh... sorry, Liz). Yes, these girls are real.
On Fox's Official Brittany Glee wiki (not that I know that exists or anything...), Brittany is labeled as a "stereotypical blonde cheerleader." Now, as the former pom-star that I am, I take offense to this; Brittany is not just the stereotypical blonde cheerleader... she's the pretty much the gold standard that all cheerleaders should aspire to whether blonde OR brunette (ha... like red headed cheerleaders are allowed). Let's take a moment to reflect upon her shining tidbits of wisdom.
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