Just Like That, Eh?

I've always held a soft spot in my heart for JJ Abrams. No, it's not because he gave me Desmond, but because he's never compromised America's intelligence. In fact, in a number of interviews, LOST writers have said that one of the aims of the show was to never doubt the viewer's problem solving intellect. Welp... that is until now.

(The following is a dramatization... but it might as well have been lines straight out of the show):

Hurley: "You're stuck here because of what you did, aren't you?"

Michael: "Yes"

Hurley: "And there's more like you--And you guys are the whispers?"

Michael: "Yup"

Jack: "So you were my Dad?"

Flocke: "Yep"

Oh hey, thanks for the heads up, guys. I mean, in the final episode are we to expect that the island's purpose is spelled out in Q&A form, all black and white and dumbed down for America? According to last week's issue of Wired, at the end of its season, LOST viewers will either say "Wow, that was cool" or "Wow, fuck those guys."

My guess is that my reaction will be a bit different. For me, every time a show that I'm so full-heartedly invested in draws its curtains, I go into mourning. It's true... when Friends ended I cried for a straight 48 hours. Boy Meets World? I couldn't eat for a week. Then when ABC cancelled Dirty Sexy Money and Samantha Who, I tried to bomb Disney World. Well not really... only in my mind.

But after the tears subside, I suspect that my reaction will be 98% angry and 2% unimpressed. Why you ask? Because a reveal the magnitude of what this show deserves is pretty much impossible. Unless Sawyer physically walks out of the screen shirtless, sits next to me on my living room couch and explains to me in detail all the secrets of the island, nothing would do it justice.

There's only a few new episodes left, people... better start mentally preparing yourselves now. How am I doing it? Well I try to search for answers in all of my surroundings. For example, right now I'm sitting in Starbucks, creepily staring at my venti cup. Have you ever noticed that the Starbucks logo draws striking similarities to the Dharma Initiative symbol? And the barista! That bitch has got some serious tude... I bet she's been claimed by the dark side!

Ok, now I'm starting to lose it and there's not even a new episode on tonight! Someone pray for me...